July 2012
forrestcrump:
she sells sea shells to support her crippling drug addiction by the sea shore
every radio station: you're listening to the #1 hit music station!
A woman who is 3months pregnant falls into a deep...
Doctor: You had twins, a boy and a girl, and they are both fine. Luckily, your brother named them for you.
Woman: Oh no, not my brother! He's an idiot! What did he name the girl?
Doctor: Denise.
Woman: Well it isn't so bad, and what did he call the boy?
Doctor: Denephew.
me: i'm a wizard.
person: then prove it.
me: sorry i can't, no magic outside hogwarts.
